Bacon gone bad

The Office is another of my television addictions and another reason that I love my cubicle job. (Sorry for the poor quality)

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Creepin’ on you while you’re creepin’ on me

Seeing my little blog stats this morning makes me want to pull a Sally Field and say “You like me, you REALLY like me!”

I don’t know exactly who’s viewing, but 23 of you visited today just to watch the bacon related videos and hacked comics I find around the interwebs. I’m guessing you must like it or Chris and Sherri are just using different computers to view so that I feel popular. (I wouldn’t put it past them, they’re nice enough to do that). Wait. Does this mean I have to be BTWG accountable?? Damn, I knew this would backfire. 

Thanks for visiting friends, hope I can keep you coming back. 

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PS – If this post made you say “Oh crap, she knows I’m creepin’!”, no worries. I can’t see who you are, just how many people are visiting. I’m weird about people knowing I stalk their blogs, too.

My demise has a first name. Its C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E

I’m having an epic fail – its name is chocolate. I act all high and mighty about turning it down at the beginning of the meeting but then it just sits there….staring at me….and I can’t do anything to stop it except eat it. One piece turned into two pieces, and two pieces turned into three six pieces. At that point you just want to say “Hell with it!” (I didn’t, but I wanted to- so badly!!!) I did eat another three pieces of Ghirardelli when I got home, but to my defense it was 72% cocoa – we can’t keep the good stuff around anymore. So I join you all in your donut distresses and Captain Crunch cravings – I am human…and my stomach hurts pretty bad now.

I will not eat the chocolate. I will not eat the chocolate. I will eat the bacon instead.

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You go girl!

Just a little reminder to my lady BTWGers – you can vote! So if you’ve fallen off of the wagon and you’re feeling a little down on yourself, remember that it’s only been the last 90 years since we won the right to vote. That’s crazy, right? I know 90 year olds. Not a lot. But a few.

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They looked a little like this.

If they can get the 19th Amendment passed, I can probably manage a few workouts and good nutrition this week.  😉

PS- Is it just me or does the guy driving the car look like he’s got major swag? Looks like he’s thinking “These bitches love voting, and they’re all voting for me.”

Fungry

…and I don’t mean hungry for fun!

I have been an eating machine now for two days and so I thought I’d share my favorite meal (besides bacon).
Sometimes you’re just so hungry, you could eat a BASS.

Not this bass:

This BASS:

That stands for Big Ass Salad and they’re a staple invented by Mr. B-How himself. So I know what you’re wondering, “How the heck do you make a delicious BASS?” Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.
1) Get a ginormous bowl – preferably serving size.
2) Load it up with spring mix and spinach
3) Chop up at least a 1-2 cups of tomatoes – especially if you have access to someone with a garden.
4) Dice up 1/2 – 1 avocado.
5) Slice up as much (or as little) onion as you want.
6) Pour as much (or as little) dressing as you want.
7) Dump all those veggies together and mix.
8) Shred 1/2-1 breast of “Best Chicken Ever” and heat in microwave for ’bout a minute.
9) Cook yourself some oven fried bacon (or grab it out of the fridge because you’re a super planner and cooked it yesterday). Crumble as much (or as little) bacon as you want. I recommend 4-6 pieces.
10) EAT IT!!!!
No one can resist a delicious BASS. No one.
See below for all the recipes all of this could be made a head of time and would be a great lunch for work. Only warning is put something between you and stirring. I’ve learned my lesson and ruined several of shirts with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. : /

Salad Dressing:

3/4 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil, 3/4 cup Balsamic vinegar, 1 TBS Garlic (we used the minced canned kind), 1 TBS oregano, 1/2 TBS sea salt, 1 TBS pepper.

Put in a can and shake before each use.

“Best Chicken Ever”

In a big bowl combine 2 lbs of chicken breasts, 4 Garlic cloves, 1 whole squeezy thing of lemon juice, 2 TBS of Italian seasoning, 3 TBS of olive oil (I feel like we do a lot more though), 1/2 TBS of sea salt, 1/2 TBS of black pepper.

Cover with cling wrap and let it sit at least 30 min. The longer the better – our best chicken sits overnight in the fridge. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil, preheat oven to 400, stick those chickies in for about 40 min (cut open to check done-ness). Let’em cool and put them in the fridge for the week.

*Super Double Cooking Bonus – shred chicken instead of dicing for salad, it’s fancier and holds more dressing.

Oven Fried Bacon:
Line a cookie sheet with aluminum. Set oven to 400 degrees. Lay out bacon next to each other. Put in oven between 20-30 minutes depending on how crispy you like it. Take it out and immediately place strips on plate covered in paper towels to soak up excess grease. BOOM! Oven Fried Bacon. You can refrigerate for snacking or eating later

Green Eggs and Ham

Uh-oh. I made something delicious. Watch out now!!!
It’s bacon avocado deviled eggs. What?!? I know. Amazing.

That’s incredible. Here’s the recipe:

Bacon Avocado Deviled Eggs
Slightly adapted from http://crossfitfire.com/amazing-bacon-avocado-deviled-eggs/

Ingredients:

6 hard boiled eggs, peeled
4 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 avocado, diced
3 Tbsp Paleo Mayo
2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper or paprika
1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro (optional garnish)
Sea Salt to taste

Directions:

Cut eggs in half lengthwise and carefully scoop out yolks. Mash yolks with a fork. Stir in diced avocados, mayonnaise, lemon juice, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and salt to taste. Fill egg whites with yolk mixture and place on a serving plate. Sprinkle with bacon and cayenne lightly, add chives if you’re feeling sexy.

You’ll have plenty left over- make sweet potato chip dip out of it!